Big Gay Road Trip

Right now, I’m writing from a luxurious, non smoking, ground level room at the Super 8 hotel in Independence, Missouri.  Complete with HBO, SHOWTIME, and free WIFI.

Unfortunately, there are no cups in the room, which is a bit of a let-down, to be honest.

This marks the second day of a road trip that my mom and I decided to undertake over winter break.  We were pretty ambitious at first and thought we would journey across the country.  Later, we thought maybe to just Arizona or New Mexico.  In the end we decided we would just go to Kansas City, but goddamn it, we would stop at every antique mall along the way.  Also, there would be pie.

So far, there hasn’t been much in the area of pie, but it’s entirely possible that I’ll have an aneurism  if I see another antique mall within the next 12 hours.  I think my dog feels the same way.

I have, however, acquired some pretty swank records from our multiple antique shop stops.

For instance:

Billy Idol – Rebel Yell

Led Zeppelin – III

Styx – The Grand Illusion, Kilroy Was Here

Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Relax

Ghostface Killah – Fishscale

Etc…

Some interesting things that have happened thus far on the trip that may or may not be directly related to my dog:

1) Both desk clerks at the motels we’ve stayed at have excitedly run up to my dog and talked to her in baby voices.

2) Some crack addict at petco (I mean it, she was a straight-up crack addict.  I could tell because she had terrible hair and she clearly didn’t know how to use mascara) looked at my dog and randomly screamed ‘FAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!’ at the top of her lungs.  It was awkward.

3) I guess I don’t really have a number three.

Tomorrow, we are going to the Nelson-Atkins art museum and Urban Outfitters because, clearly, my mom and I are raging hipsters.

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